When he whips out the d and it’s small
COOL DATE IDEA: take a really long nap with me
if you can hear anything over your music it’s not loud enough
this is hands down the wildest post on this entire site
when white boys make fun of girls getting drunk im kinda just like but have you seen white boys wasted. they start rapping and whispering into girls necks and start yelling racist shit to people on the street. when girls get wasted it just means we’re all super nice to each other in the bathroom and dance to beyonce
"i just broke up with my -"
posting a selfie like
- DAMN INTELLIGENT
- VALUABLE AS HELL AND NOT THE LEAST BIT WORTHLESS
- SUPER FUCKING LOVED
- EXTREMELY GOD DAMN INTERESTING
- NOT TO MENTION A HOT PIECE OF ASS
I’m reblogging this because it’s an awesome message, BUT ALSO BECAUSE I HOVERED OVER IT
- me: i need to get good grades on this tests
- me: *doesn't study*
REALLY just wanna take this chance to remind the people who follow me to not kill/trap opossums if they’re in your yard, and do not call animal control! Seriously.
- Opossums are literally 100% BIOLOGICALLY INCAPABLE of carrying rabies. Their body temperature is too cool to incubate it properly.
- Opossums are actually quite gentle and NOCTURNAL, so if they’re roaming, they’ve probably gotten lost, been injured, and are looking for a place to hide.
- Young opossums tend to try to climb into garbage cans when they’re starving. This is because THEY ARE LITERALLY STARVING. Don’t fucking shoot them or hit them with things because you wanna be some fucking macho top-of-the-food-chain cocksucker.
- Mama possums are amazing mothers and if you encounter an “aggressive” opossum, it’s probably because she’s got babies hanging off her nipple and she’s freaking out. They’re clumsy. Sometimes they don’t hear you coming and you catch each other off guard.
- Wanna lure an opossum off of your property? You can set up a box with some greens and cat kibble in it, hide it well, and lure them out that way. They’re actually quite harmless and keep other predators away. they eat lotsa gross stuff.
- Opossum mamas who get hit by cars often still have their helpless babies attached to them. Possums get a bad rep and people say they are “the dumbest animal”, but they are incredible creatures who have been around since the days of fucking dinosaurs so treat them well, okay?
i’m tasteless but so is water and we all need that
i am gonna buy 1000 copies of the infinity on high vinyl and rub them over my naked body